Thursday, May 30, 2013

How to spot-fix a cricket match !!

If you are from God's own country and have some connection to the country full of oil wells, you have necessary qualification to spot fix a cricket match. Next thing you need is a Nokia Lumia cell phone which you will gift to your future girl friend. Essentially, this girl friend will be your way to connect with D-Company. What is a D-Company? Well it is a company owned by a boss who is sitting on a couch and eating curd rice with both of his hands, also letting spill some rice from his mouth. You got the idea. 

Once the girl friend contacts D-Company boss, he will give you the specific orders to play for a certain team, specially a team which is meager on budget and owned by Bollywood's Laura Croft. You don't need extra talent to play cricket, but you must be good at throwing tantrums and dancing, probably also future  contestant for Dancing with the Stars.

Once you are selected in the team, you must show that you work hard and have something in you that you get whacked by northies. D-Company boss will send you extra towels (Made in Dubai) and you should use them to clean the dust on the ball and on your face. There is a coded signal you must give to a bookie during the match. Picking your nose is considered the safest signal. Your goal is to concede 14 runs with 3 balls. The foremost reason for such numbers is D-Company boss is a big fan of Pi.

Spot fixing a cricket match looks easier from this post, but lot of hard work goes into the process, specially when so many people are involved in the entertainment business, specially bookies. Go Rotlu , you are an official spot-fixer now.

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